A Meet-the-Author session with Baek Sehee (middle) at the Singapore Writers Festival 2024.

When I first encountered the book, I was immediately drawn to the use of the word tteokbokki in the title - a special dish made with gochujang sauce, rice cakes and sugar.

Personally, I love eating Korean rice cakes. I quickly picked up the book and flipped through it. It was written in the style of an interview between the author, Ms. Baek Sehee, and her therapist.

In the book, she discusses her struggles and subsequent diagnosis of dysthymia, also known as persistent depressive disorder.

At first, I was reluctant to read yet another self-help book. At this point, I felt I could recite exactly what every self-help book would say: Be kind to yourself. You are capable. Be happy.

However, this book did not take that approach - at least not in a vague or generic way. Tteokbokki offers an honest and upfront portrayal of the author’s journey with dysthymia and how she manages this chronic illness. It is not a romanticized portrayal of the condition, nor does it suggest that she finds a miraculous cure. This authenticity is what drew me into her story in the first place.

This was what motivated me to attend the Singapore Writers Festival 2024 Meet-the-Author session with Ms. Baek Sehee. Without further ado, here are the top three lessons I learned from Ms. Sehee’s session and her book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki.

1. Striving for Perfection Is Impossible, and We Should Learn to Be Okay with Failing

It took Ms. Sehee a long time to realize that nobody is perfect and that the more you strive for perfection, the more likely you are to fail. When you’re afraid of failure, you become more nervous and less willing to take risks. This fear can prevent you from presenting your authentic self.

Ms. Sehee shares how she learned to embrace her imperfections and be content with who she is. This self-acceptance gave her the courage to allow herself to fail.

“So I kept failing and failing, and I feel like it is enough - the amount of changes I have made to myself,” she shared.

I believe many of us struggle with perfectionism, especially in today’s age of social media, where our actions are often broadcasted and can spread like wildfire.

Thanks to Ms. Sehee’s advice, I’ve learned that it is okay to fail. By allowing myself to fail, I can truly learn from the experience and remind myself that at least I had the courage to try.

2. Overcoming Listlessness

Ms. Sehee shared her multi-step approach to overcoming listlessness, which she applies in her daily routine by breaking tasks into manageable stages.

For example:

Let us say you are sitting on your bed, feeling exhausted and doom-scrolling on your phone. You want to take a walk outside and get some fresh air, but the thought seems overwhelming. So, what can you do? Take it one step at a time.

First, place your phone next to you. Then, remove the covers and sit up. Constantly ask yourself, “What’s the next small thing I can do?” For instance, “Can I go outside now?”

Ms. Sehee emphasizes the importance of self-talk. If she manages to get out of bed, she breaks her tasks into smaller steps - combing her hair, opening the mailbox, taking a shower and so on. This method of breaking things down has helped her get through her days.

Ms. Sehee’s advice is also relevant to another strategy for combating listlessness: habit stacking. Habit stacking involves pairing an unpleasant task with something enjoyable to create a positive association. For example, some people might combine exercising with a favorite drink as motivation.

3. Writing as a Tool for Growth

Ms. Sehee explained how writing has helped her cope with her condition.

“When you begin to write, you become clear about the situation. When you are able to organize your thoughts, you can convey what you want to say in a clear and concise way through writing.”

For Ms. Sehee, writing is not a simple task. To ensure her work is as accurate and insightful as possible, she carefully reviews and reflects on her writing. This internal screening process not only helps her clarify her thoughts but also allows her to grow and evolve.

“I want to be a person whose values align with my age. My strengths, which I want to build on, motivate me to continue writing,” she shared.

Ms. Sehee’s perspective reminds us that writing is a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal development. By putting our thoughts into words, we can better understand ourselves, gain clarity, and chart a path forward.

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is available for sale at NUS Co-op@Central Forum. Get your copy now.

This book review is in no way related to nor affiliated with the management of Singapore Writers Festival, all quotations by Ms. Baek Sehee were by an on-site translator and transcribed by this writer of the book review to the best of her ability.

*All advice given in this review was of the author’s opinion and should not be regarded as medical advice. Please seek professional help and guidance if need be.